1. GOD HATES DIVORCE
It’s thrown in your face as if divorce is the unpardonable sin. But let’s be honest: God does hate divorce…and so do you.
As you deeply look into Malachi 2:16, you will see the context interesting. The context is of the unfaithful spouse, the one who hurts his/her, spouse. It’s about being cruel to your spouse, the one that we should love and protect. God hates any action that often leads to divorce. Let’s take a look at another passage:
There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, a false witness who pours out lies and a person who stirs up conflict in the community (Proverbs 6:16-19).
Let me just say that anyone who is throwing Malachi 2:16 at you needs to stop and take a look at Proverbs 6. We, as Christians, need to remember that there is none righteous, not even one (Romans 3:10). We need to remember that Christ died for our pride and our lies just as much as he died for our divorces. And, it’s often the sins of Proverbs 6 that lead to divorce.
2. TO REMARRY…OR NOT?
I am sure you have heard the arguments that you cannot remarry unless you want to live in adultery and risk your eternal soul.
Let’s start with interpretation of scripture. I am neither a Greek nor Hebrew scholar. There are enough of those around that I can turn to them to gain from their years of education and experience. However, not one of us was around to have full knowledge of what God intended when he gave the Holy Spirit inspired scripture to the authors. There are scholars who say remarriage is never an option. There are scholars who say remarriage is only an option in the case of adultery. And there are scholars who say remarriage is always allowed because of God’s grace.
No matter what, any interpretation is exactly a human interpretation. Only the scripture itself is a divinely inspired Word of God. We have to be very cautious about taking a human interpretation and forcing it on others, lest we become like the Pharisees. Ultimately, your decision to remarry is between you and God. It is a decision that should be made in prayer and consultation with trusted biblical advisors. And, it is a decision that should only be made when you (and your future spouse) have taken plenty of time to heal from your past hurts and to become as much like Christ as possible.
Here’s a quick thought for you: the lineage of Christ recorded in Matthew 1 has a list of a prostitute (Rahab, who eventually married Salmon); an adulterous couple (David, who married Bathsheba after having her husband murdered); and a widow (who married her kinsman-redeemer, Boaz). I find it very interesting that there are three women who were remarried in the direct lineage of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
3. GOD IS THE REDEEMER OF ALL THINGS
Throughout scripture, we are given so many promises to show us that there is always hope! Romans 8:28 tells us that all things work together for the good of those who love God. Zechariah 9:12 tells us that God will repay two blessings for each of our troubles. In John 11, Jesus proclaims that He is the resurrection and the life; He will take you from the death of divorce and breathe new life into you. And 1 Peter 5:10 says that the suffering won’t last forever, but one day he will have you put together and on your feet again.
When this journey began for me nearly six years ago, I wasn’t sure I believed those promises. God had failed me, or so I thought. I had dedicated my life to him, and the “blessing” I received was a husband who was unrepentant of his adultery. I was finished with God.
But he wasn’t finished with me. He pursued me relentlessly and called me to get my security from him. He gently reminded me that he has been with me all the days of my life and that he wasn’t going to leave me now. He reminded me that he has great plans for me.
I was a broken, rejected mess. But God reminded me that he loves me, that I am his chosen child, his treasured possession. He told me that I am the apple of his eye (Psalm 17:8). He reminded me that I am his masterpiece, created to do good works (Ephesians 2:10). I was once called, and can never be disqualified because his call is irrevocable (Romans 11:29).
As I chose to surrender, he began to work in my heart and in my life. I have seen his provisions every step of the way. He has flooded me with his peace. He has given me a much deeper understanding of his love and his grace, a more intimate relationship with him. He has taken my pain and given me a ministry. I truly believe with Job that the second half of my life will be more blessed than the first (Job 42:10).
And he wants to do the same for you. All you need to do is surrender, ask him to do a mighty work in you so he can do a mighty work through you. Tell him that you don’t want this journey, but you will take it as long as your pain is not in vain.